i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
