This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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