beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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