She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
