Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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