We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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