she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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