he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
do nipples grow back?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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