He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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