im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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