Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
