Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
