i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
