Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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