coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
