Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
