the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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