whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
What a dumb baby whore.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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