yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
