So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
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No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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