did you get engaged???
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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