you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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