11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
