And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
