We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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