i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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