this beer tastes like vomit already
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
