just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
