Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
