ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
