Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
