hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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