i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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