I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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