My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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