i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
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