the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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