i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
