My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
