you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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