drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
