Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
