the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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