how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
