seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
