Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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