Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize