Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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