I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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