I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
is wine microwaveable?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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