Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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