Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
