you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
