Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
