In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
