The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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