walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You ruined the universe
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
