Only a mothe r could love this liver
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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