I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
