Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Let the clothes fall where they may.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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