just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
