have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
